one life blog

The Real You – Part 1

If you didn’t make it to the academy in Orlando this past week, I must say you missed something special.  We had an extraordinary lineup of speakers, both in the leadership and breakout training sessions.  It was four days of inspiration and instructional accentuated by the opportunity to fellowship with like-minded people who share a desire to achieve higher levels of personal and professional growth.

Those of you that were attendance shout “amen”.  I can’t hear you…say it again…


I had the immense pleasure of addressing the audience, and by popular demand (ok, 3 of you asked about getting a copy) I will outline my session in my next few blog posts.  While I always endeavor to make anything I do entertaining, empowering, and enlightening, I understand that static words on a web page could never replace the dynamics of my live performance (Yes, the live Brandon is superbad!) – but here goes…

I want to begin by introducing you to 3 people:

1.The You that You See

2.The You that People See

3.The Real You

The You That You See –  This is your self-image.  It is a combination of all the things that make up your life to this point.  It is based on a summary of what you have accomplished, or failed to accomplish up to this moment in time.  The construction of your self-image began the moment you had a conscious recognition of yourself – as a small child taking your first steps or saying your first words.  You had people around you who cheered you on, recognized your accomplishments and helped nurture a strong self-image…if you were fortunate

As we get older, the cheering wanes, and life becomes laden with trials that bring setbacks and heartaches.  We begin to question our abilities – who we are and how we are made.  We begin to limit our dreams – what we are capable of doing and being with this precious gift of life.

We see ourselves through the opaque lense of doubt and it distorts the view of the “man in the mirror”.  The You That You See sometimes struggles against the paradox of desire and doubt.  We want what life has to offer, but do not feel worthy to receive it.  With this self-image we give half-hearted attempts and it shows in our progress, or lack thereof.  It is commonly known as self-sabotage.

How do you see yourself? 

The You That People See – This is the assessment people make of you with a passing glance, a brief encounter or after getting to know you over a period of time.  While it doesn’t seem fair, we all make hierarchal judgements about people from the moment we say “hello”.  To combat these pre-judgements (prejudices), we strive to fit in, to conform to the image that make us relatable and likeable. 

While there is nothing inherently wrong with the desire to be liked, if “peer pressure” is driving the way you act around people, it is causing you to drift further from your true self.  That is a high price to pay for friendships and relationships that are not based on the authentic you – it can’t last.  If you look over your life and the times you tried to fit in, you recognize it leads to an emptiness and a longing for true relationships where you can let your guard down…to be you.

It’s time to stop caring or worrying about what people think and contorting to fit in.  Come out from among them…you are a peculiar people:

But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of Him who hath called you out of darkness into His marvelous light:

1 Peter 2:9

The Real You – This is the person God sees.  It is the highest and best you.  It is as unique as a snowflake, fingerprint or eyeball.  Never once seen or ever to be seen again.  The Real You is a little quirky, a little “cray cray”…a misfit.  Sure, it will be uncomfortable for a season, but when the Real You flourishes, you will find that special place where you belong…where you fit.  Life becomes fulfilling and authentic.  Begin to visualize The Real You and the impact you could have on those you love and the world at-large.  Can you see it?

It feels liberating.  It feels good.  It feels right.

Take a moment and give thanks that there is no one else like you.  That God made you for such a time as this and He makes no mistakes:

“I will give thanks and praise to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well.”

Psalm 139:14

Let me give you some insight into the Real You –

The real you is not ordinary – The real you is extraordinary!

The real you doesn’t mope their way through life – the real you has joy!

The real you is not aimless or drifting – The real you lives in divine purpose…divine peace!

The real you doesn’t run with the pack…unless you are leading it…or unless it is leading you somewhere!

The real you is one of a kind, not a cheap copy or poor imitation trying to fit in.

In a moment of clarity, you will realize that you are bad to the bone, superbad even, and a blessing going somewhere to happen.

The Real You?


Next time, I will begin to tell you how to meet this one of kind, extra-ordinary person, but until then, declare every day –

“I am fearfully and marvelously made…I am exceptional!”

Brandon Clay
Vice President of Health Sales
One Life America